Chapter 11 - The Things Children Remember
On Friday morning, Lila asked whether the sea could come through the windows.
Adrian was making scrambled eggs when she appeared in the kitchen doorway wearing pajamas covered in yellow ducks.
She carried the repaired wooden sailboat against her chest.
"Hey, bug. You're up early."
She looked past him toward the garden.
"Water outside?"
"Just the swimming pool."
"Big water?"
"No. Little water."
She considered that distinction.
"Can it come in?"
Adrian turned off the stove.
"No, sweetheart."
"Promise?"
He crouched in front of her.
"Promise."
Lila touched his cheek.
"Don't go in door."
The words struck him harder than he expected.
"What door?"
"Boat door."
Adrian stayed still.
She pointed behind him as though the yacht's interior doorway were there.
"Daddy go."
He swallowed.
"Yeah. Daddy went inside."
Her little fingers tightened around the boat.
"Then Cor'inne mad."
He remembered Dr. Shah's warning about asking questions.
So he said only, "That sounds scary."
Lila nodded.
"She no like me."
Adrian felt tears rise.
"Oh, honey."
He wanted to tell her Corinne hadn't meant it.
He wanted to make the world small and gentle again with one comforting sentence.
But that would require him to lie.
So he held out his arms.
Lila stepped into them.
"Do you like me, Daddy?"
The question almost broke him.
He kissed her curls.
"More than all the stars."
She pulled back.
"Even the big ones?"
"Especially the big ones."
She considered that.
Then she whispered, "I like you too."
Later that morning, Lauren Bennett, the child interview specialist, called Adrian.
She had reviewed Lila's recorded interview with Detective Donnelly and the assigned child protection investigator.
"How's she doing?" Lauren asked.
"Some good moments. Some rough ones."
"That's common after a frightening event."
"She asked me whether the sea could come through the windows."
Lauren was quiet for a moment.
"You did the right thing reassuring her."
Adrian hesitated.
"She also said Corinne didn't like her."
"Did you ask what Corinne did?"
"No."
"Good."
He rubbed his forehead.
"I feel ridiculous being proud of myself for not questioning my own daughter."
"You're her father. Your instinct is to get answers so you can protect her. But she needs you to be her father, not an investigator."
Adrian stared at the family's old photograph on the mantel.
Eleanor held baby Lila against her chest.
He stood beside them, grinning stupidly.
"I keep thinking about all the times I left them alone."
Lauren didn't rush to reassure him.
Instead, she asked, "Has Lila ever seemed frightened of Corinne before?"
"Sometimes."
"What did that look like?"
Adrian thought.
"She stopped asking Corinne to read to her. She cried when we had date nights because she thought Corinne might put her to bed."
"Anything else?"
"She started hiding her toys."
He frowned.
"Actually, I remember finding her wooden boat under her pillow. I asked why, and she said Corinne didn't like it."
Lauren made a note.
"That's useful context. Please give that information to the investigator, and continue letting Lila bring things up naturally."
After the call, Adrian sat alone for almost an hour.
He remembered the evening Lila had spilled grape juice on Corinne's dress.
Corinne had smiled when he entered the room.
"Just a little accident," she'd said.
But Lila had been trembling.
He'd blamed himself for imagining things.
Now he wondered how much he'd taught his daughter to keep quiet simply because he'd wanted his second marriage to work.
That afternoon, Evelyn found Adrian standing outside Lila's bedroom.
He was holding a tiny yellow cardigan.
"What's that?" she asked.
"From Saturday. It was in the laundry bag."
"Was she wearing it?"
"Earlier that morning."
He pressed the cardigan between his hands.
"I keep going through everything. What she ate. What she said. Whether she seemed unhappy."
Evelyn stood beside him.
"Adrian, you can't investigate your way into becoming the father you wish you'd been last week."
He looked at her.
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Be the father she needs today."
He gave a humorless laugh.
"That's your whole answer?"
"It's the only one that starts somewhere useful."
Inside the room, Lila was arranging stuffed animals on the carpet.
She looked up.
"Daddy! Tea party."
Adrian wiped his eyes.
"Am I invited?"
She nodded seriously.
"Bear says yes."
"Very generous of Bear."
"Grandma no. She ate all cookies."
Evelyn gasped.
"Slander."
Lila laughed.
Adrian stepped into the room and sat cross-legged beside her.
For twenty minutes, he drank imaginary tea and pretended not to notice when Bear cheated at cards.
Then Lila pushed a tiny plastic cup toward him.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can Cor'inne find us here?"
His hand stopped halfway to his mouth.
"No, sweetheart."
Lila leaned toward him.
"You sure?"
He looked around the bright room.
At the stuffed animals.
At the books.
At the small wooden boat beside her knee.
May you like
Then he met her eyes.
"Yes," he said. "And I'm going to make sure of it."
